Wow. Where does the time go??
I always forget about LJ, but I'm going to bring it back. Haha.

Big news....
I GRADUATED COLLEGE!!!!
Yes my dear friends, I am officially a college graduate with an entire summer ahead of me.  I am beyond excited, and beyond proud of myself. I knew I could do it, but with the failure of Uni always in the back of my head, I had my doubts.  Oh well, doesn't matter know, because I am FREE!

I feel an incredible weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I can finally breathe. 
Well almost. I came down with a nasty cold that is blocking my nasal cavites with mucus. Hahaha. So close. 

I spent and amazing week in Toronto with Holly, and it was absolutly incredible. There is nothing like getting away, and taking some time for you. 
The time went by without notice, and I let the world go on without me. 

Nothing is as beautiful than the lack of time. 

I hope everyone else is enjoying their days, and letting the sun bring a little warmth into your hearts.
My black heart isn't so black anymore, and it feels wonderful.

xox. love, and other indoor sports.

Everything seems a little odd. A little disjointed. A little off color.
But I can't seem to put my finger on it. And i prolly never will.

I spend the good part of my evening doing arts and crafts. 
I made two mirrors, which look awesome. Next step is to clean my room. Guh. Not going to happen any time soon. That's for sure. I have no motivation for cleaning. No motivation to shuffle through all the mess and clutter of a disorganized life. A disorganized mind.

I want to run. Empty out the past years, and get away from all my chaos. 
But that's not going to happen. Until i can deal with it, i'm never going to get over it. 


Apart from being emotionally crazy, summer is going swimmingly. Work is keeping me somewhat preoccupied, while friends are taking up the rest of the time.
Camping soon is getting me excited. Four days away, withouth a cell phone or a computer. Amazing. It's going to be a worthwile weekend.

Much love. I figure i better give it all away before it completely consumes me, and eats me from the inside out.
xox.

i can't stop crying.

this week has totally kicked my ass, and it's finally caught up to me.
i tried to cheer myself up by watching friday the 13th part 2, in honor of my favorite day... it kinda helped, but only for an hour and a half.
now i'm left tired and upset, and completely unenthusiastic about everything.

i'm bitter about everything. i'm tired of trying to make others see the beauty in everything.
you think you're fat? fine, you're a cow. you think you're ugly? fine, you're a beast. you think no one will ever love you? fine, you'll die alone.

i hope you drown in botox and liquid foundation. go read your celebrity magazines and gossip about the latest fashions. shit on others who don't fit into your lame bubble of plastic and fake sense of beauty and style. live through the people in the magazine, but don't start bitching about your life when you have made no attempt to make it something more than a fake fantasy. 

don't bitch to me, because i won't try and make it better. i'll agree with you and make you feel even worse. don't come fishing for compliments because i won't dish them out. you can bitch and moan all you want, but don't make me be the one to make you feel better.



how's that for bitter fucking betty?

xox. blah blah blah.

Being hungover and not going to school is kind of a good thing.
I slept until 1:30 today, and when i woke up, it was blue and sunny outside.

I am so effing pumped for summer, it's hard to explain. The days are getting better and better, and life is getting better and better.
Went out last night, and just fucking danced my ass off and had a blast with my lady friends.
It's been too long with some of them, and I was happy to have them there, drinking and being just like we used to be.

Every once in a while, you make friends who will be there forever, no matter what happens.
Thoes girls will forever be my core friends. My friends who i can call up once a year, and it'll still be exactly the same as it was.
We've gone through too much shit together, and have had too many good times. 
We know who we are when we're with each other, and that's a a very comforting feeling.
We bring out the best in each other, because we've never been fake. 
How fucking beautiful!!!


And this song i'm listening to is pure gold. It puts me in the summer mood. Makes me want to move all the time.
Kinda dirty, kinda hot, totally dance worthy. 

26 days until summer freedom. I can hardly contain myself.
I won't stop swooning.

xox. my life is all too perfect. <3

summer is on it's way,
and i'm pumped!

i went on a long walk yesterday, and it felt so good.
music and sunglasses were all i needed.
totally worth the winter, just to have the first signs of spring in the air.

much love to mother nature, for keeping it great,
and never giving up.
circles are her life, and i'm envious.

xox. tractor time.

all in all, i'd say things are awesome.

because tonight i saw the weirdest thing on my walk home.
there were a whole bunch of big trucks lined up on the street.
they all had their lights on, and one lady looked like
she was looking up at the sky, waiting
for it to snow. it was so werid! then a huge yellow
machine was the the front of the line.
they we something to do with snowplowing
and all that stuff. but it was the weirdest thing to see on
a walk home at midnight. kinda creepy, and very exciting.

xox. its always a good call.